a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
