Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
