Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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