In the future we'll all be gay
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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