i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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