there was a trapeze. enough said
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
