On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
