turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
