I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
