I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
