chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
