But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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