quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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