Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ugly people sure do ruin things
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Randomize
