She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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