in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dear god my vagina.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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