watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
