our cab driver is having phone sex.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
