physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
