you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
