dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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