The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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