i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
