Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Let's get the cat blown out
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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