We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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