you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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