You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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