When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
