its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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