the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
