I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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