I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
