i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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