No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
