I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
