drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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