so that wasnt chicken after all
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
