she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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