You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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