You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
