It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
