I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
