i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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