What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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