I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
