I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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