He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
