Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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