That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
