oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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