she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
