maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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