so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
