i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
