Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
