thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
