Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
