I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
