i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
