So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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