the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
