I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
