I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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