Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
