I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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