I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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