im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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