new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
