I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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