the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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