If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Need sex. Gaining weight.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
