Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
