can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
