what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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