Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
